Friday, October 29, 2010

i have reached the end of my productivity rope today






i have no genius ideas left in the giant orb i refer to as my head
.
all the cells in the spreadsheets blur together
.
my fingers are sore.. i think i might have carpal tunnel ?? or carpe diem or whatever you call it where your hands cramp into little balls from typing all dang day
.
my eyeballs have suntans from staring at the screen so long and feel 'bugged out' .

all the charts look stupid,
or boringly same

.
my brain is making a soft hissing sound like its got a slow leak

.
and i just dont care about the trends anymore, whether they're up or down, sideways or inverted or better than last year, month week.. who CAREs!
IS it really going to matter in 100 years when were all driving flying saucers, and can communicate by telepathy????!!!!
I mean really people.
.
The building is eerily empty for only 4pm, as is the parking garage

EMP-TY

"Helloo? hello hello hello hello" - my impression of an echo

Results of the 330pm Friday Mass Exodus common to (some) salaried people
.
The red icon for MS powerpoint makes me throw up in my mouth just a little bit.
.

Im done
.
i have no thoughts left except these rantings
.

you know that giant screeching sound a train makes with the loud crash, and puff of steam when they stop???
thats what my train of thought just did
.
goodnight people.

have a good weekend


Thursday, October 28, 2010

love

You think because you understand one
you must also understand two,
because one and one make two.
But you must also understand "and".
~Rumi

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The road out

On the way out to work this morning.. it was cold, clear and gorgeous!
.

Mt Rainier and the Puyallup valley

.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

First hunting trip


This is my nephew Nate (right) this is taken on his first hunting trip he got a buck too. success!!
ahh the glory of youre first hunting trip.
i remember mine..
I went duck hunting w my Dad in the tide flats NW of Mt Vernon
we slept in a rickety old hunting shack
got up at the crack
hiked out the drizzly freezing burm to the flats
after HOURS waiting in the blind
ducks
i followed my Dads directions except for 'Keep the gun TIGHT to your shoulder'
i was scared it would hurt
I shot
the shotgun kicked back
knocked me on my keester, and i slid down the mud bank
that did NOT go how i planned.
On the hike out to the flats dragging behind my dad.. I daydreamed about making the shot, and 10 ducks would fall from the sky, and I would be the youngest, and best hunter the soggy tide flats had ever seen! I would come home a hero.. and feed my family for months!
not this time
well at least Nate did not inherit his aunties pi55 poor hunting skills
YAY

Getting er done - NOT

Its been raining for a few days
I got my new tires on my car a couple days back.. thank God.. just in time for non hydroplaning action
I made the drive home from work last night, got home around 715.. fantasizing about all the stuff i was going to 'get done'..Im going to get home, change out of my work clothes, play with Ode and read him a book, and put him to sleep..then Im going to tackle the craft room and REALLY make a dent in it this time.
reality
i got home, ate some spaghetti, put ode to bed early with no book because he was falling asleep on the way down the hall, sat down on the couch w a cup of coffee Chris made me..
and promptly fell asleep.
cr@p
I woke up at 1144
drank my cold coffee w chris on the deck, went to bed
got up and out the door by 730 this morning..
maybe tonight ill get lucky! and stay awake!
never give up hope

Otis almost yawning

here he is I miss him so..
Dad sent me this pic at work.
Odes not feeling 100% the last day or so, sniffling, a little warm...I think he may be fighting the 'crud' thats been making its way through the family. He slept a lot last night..hopefully it allowed his body to gain some ground on whatever he's fighting off.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Camerons Owl pillow

Cameron has an affinity for Owls or rather they for him, he has spotted more owls in the last year than I have in my whole life..
so I made him and Owl pillow so he'd stop stealing the couch throw pillows to sleep with when he visits!
anyway it turned out cute for a quickie project.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Whistling Dixie

Ode woke up at 4:24 am this morning..
Chris got him out of bed, and put him in our bed for the last wee hours of the morn. Ode woke up for the second time around 7am.
Stands up in bed, and is doing his usual, bouncing mom and dad awake routine..
then he stops bouncing.. puckers his lips and starts sucking in air.. he's been doing this weird little stunt for a couple days and we cant figure out what hes going for
after about 10 minutes of sucking wind, and making mom laugh with his VERY SERIOUS pucker
alas
a soft whistling sound comes out
He pops his eyebrows and does it again
pucker
inhale really hard,
whistle
OH BOY.. he is excited..
whistle whistle whistle
(so THIS is what hes been trying to do for days)
he jumps up and down
giggles and
freezes and whistles again
OH BOY you never saw anybody so proud of themselves
i am laughing so hard
this kid is hilarious
what better way to wake up every day?
who cares if he's whistling in reverse?
I dont crochet by the rules
why should he whistle by the rules?

Ode.. the backwards Dixie Whistler

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Miners

Watching the ongoing saga of the miners in Chile today.
I cant imagine being trapped for over two months underground.
I cant believe they are still alive.
amazing

*
Dark as a Dungeon - Willie Nelson

Oh come all you young fellers so young and so fine
Seek not your fortune in a dark dreary mine
It'll form as a habit and seep in your soul
Till the stream of your blood runs as black as the coal

Where it's dark as a dungeon and damp as the dew
Where the danger is double and pleasures are few
Where the rain never falls the sun never shines
It's a dark as a dungeon way down in the mine

Well it's many a man that I've seen in my day
Who lived just to labor his whole life away
Like a fiend with his dope and a drunkard his wine
A man will have lust for the lure of the mine

Where it's dark as a dungeon ....

And pray when I'm dead and my ages shall roll
That my body would blacken and turn into coal
Then I'll look from the door of my heavenly home
and pity the miner digging my bones

Where it's dark as a dungeon...

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Hmmm..

I think I have been depressed for a couple months. Thats my self diagnosis.

I didnt go to the doctor for it. Towards the end of it, I called in sick to work because i was "tired".
This isnt regular tired, but the tired where you feel like breathing takes up too much energy.. and I just couldnt make myself go anymore.

I dont have any reason to be depressed, really, i mean life is hard for everybody.
and the only things I can say about it are.. its not sad.. its just NOTHING
and i dont usually notice it until it lifts, and look back and say whoa.. i was in a SUPER FUNK for the last few months.

I dont have a big epiphany that pulls me out and I say "LAAAAaa! I am better because of the love of trees or because I visualized it!! (harps play in the background)

i just gradually pull out of the funk. i think this one was one of the worst ive had. I think im having a midlife crisis at the same time
ive had thoughts like..
  • why dont i ever get THAT excited anymore?
  • my life amounts to a hill of beans if you look at what i have/own
  • i dont know if i was a good enough mother to the boys
  • what am i doing with my days? sitting in front of a screen..
  • i have this awkward sense that i am sitting on top of a pile of sand..that are my days on the planet. and if you zoom out, and look at the big picture, i am sitting on top of the pile of sand in the top of the hourglass.. my days slipping silently away beneath me..I feel panic when i think of this. I feel lack.
  • Oh my God! I better do some real living! quick! (secondary thought (what does that mean?) I guess this is what they call coming to terms with your mortality.

This time, it took some events, to help pull me out, I did some nice things for other people in (i think subconscious) hopes of saving myself..usually i avoid other people as much as possible, but i stepped out of my comfort zone and did something nice for somebody.. sometimes totally randomly. This seemed to have the effect of when they put the paddles on you, and jumstart you. The discomfort and outof the box-ness of helping a stranger, sort of shocks me back into living/feeling something. and then I warm up.

Combined with forcing 'doing' something like cooking or crafting.. or taking pictures when i could just as easily sit in a chair and drool on myself..

and counting my blessings deliberately and repeatedly, even when i felt nothing..i finally rose to the surface again. PHEW . such dark days are a bad way to spend your life/sand.

Winter.maGeddon BRING IT ON

I am SO OVER summer this year.. like I dont even call her anymore
I was really disappointed in Summers performance this past few months, she let me down BIG
and with every green tomato i rescue from the garden, my fury grows..I mutter at Summer beneath my breath..

anyways enough about summer

Winters on its way, and according to the national weather service Its pulling out ALL THE STOPS this year.. its supposed to go Gangbusters on the NW

the sweet little phrase that catches my eye, and sets my heart to fluttering?

RECORD SNOWFALL

Those two words
are like Manna in the desert to me

In seconds I revert to 1978, i am restored to 8 year old Me
standing at the top of the beach hill,
wearing a 100% Polyester snow hat,
Plastic - y mitten,
my 2 years too small boots,
and soaking wet snow suit, my wooden sled in hand
My lips are blue,
my hands and cheeks are red,
my hair is glued to my face with dried sweat and melted snow..with chunks of juniper bush in it from the last "run"
I AM THE HAPPIEST GIRL ALIVE
i dont want to go home for lunch
EVER
"Oh MAN! Craig Vanderhorn just wiped out at the bottom, after sliding onto the boat dock! COOL! Im gonna do that"

I feel complete GLEE (not the show, the emotion.. the one where you smile so hard your cheeks hurt, you feel like you will jump out of your skin, and catch yourself bouncing up and down without meaning to.)
this is exciting
this will be such an AdventURE!
AWESOMmmmmmmmmmmmE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


snow snow snow snow snow

Me + Snow = Happy

stinky

i have been going to www.luckyscent.com and buying parfume samples.
How else do you know if you like a scent?
my favorites right now are :molecule 2; and Le 'something' de guerrier.. translation: Warrior Water (EEee! I love THAT!)
Anyways the 'du Guerriere' is a very weird smell, when it first hits your nose it has one loud note that says Comet..(yes the cleaning powder) somehow i find the smell of comet very calming and reminds me of being a child
then behind it a phantom note that is about five different subtle things.. Its awesome.. and when i put it on I feel like its magical warrior water to protect me from all the Psychos on the freeway!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

I'd like the Phad Thai and a glass of milk please

Out to lunch w MeMaw
MeMaw has a tiny whistle attached to her purse for when she goes walking
she made the mistake of demonstrating to Ode how the whistle works
first try he got mostly air
second try air and a quiet whistle
third try WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
MeMaw and Mommy snatched the whistle away.
Im sure Ode thought.. whats wrong!! I did it just like you showed me!
and what a GREAT sound!

ALMOST sushi

peeled, seeded and sliced cukes from the garden soaked in rice vinegar, sugar and salt




Surimi rolls at home.. i dont have a sushi mat(roller) i just kind of freestyle it.. so the rolls arent perfect but they still taste right

bottom seaweed, rice, then surimi mixture (crab with a K , w crushed ginger,celery,and anaheim peppers, a little mayo, rice vinegar and gluten free soy sauce) topped w quickpickled cuke and fresh green onions.


surimi mixture..looks like cat food, tastes like heaven (i SWEAR)



seaweed




Hops monster

This thing looks like a giant monster with yellow antennae if you look at it just right.. I expect it to come alive at any moment and consume the rest of the yard
"mmm hops Maaaad"

MVP of the week....

the old canner

oddball photos


New (free!) french doors for the living room.. two sets! woohoo! Chris found these at the builders outlet FREE pile, which is usually a bunch of junk with an occasional treasure.. you have to be sharp and quick though! this was the motherlode..holey moley. they were returns on a custom order













Putting up the beans/blanched and frozen




mohawk tobacco


i love the flowers on this. they are yellow green, and really neat and tidy. this is ceremonial tobacco, got the seed from uhh i forget the seed place name.. anyways, was curious if it would grow here.. it does.. b not very big though

yellow




SEE the BEE!!?









wait THIS isnt yellow.. anyways its still a nice pic.. so Ill let it stay




no title











Bathtime for chickadees.












Monday, October 4, 2010

Almost the last harvest

kitchen assistant asleep on the job









Garden Helper









sage




tomatoes, cukes,and sunchokes (this is only off of 4 sunchoke plants..and there are hundreds) apparently sunchokes can be white, yellow or purple.. just depends on their soil!






squash, mint,basil, and onions












Green tomatoes





we got these crates from the local bulb farm which was (sadly) just sold after 130 years in the valley

Tea











Fried Green Tomatoes





we dipped the green maters in falafel..which is seasoned and super tasty!
ps
i know my burner rings are atrocious .. and i just dont care that much (which is obvious) ha